Two life-sized statues of me will be built in my honor: one in Newark, New Jersey, and the other in the central plaza of Toa Alta, Puerto Rico. I will insist that the statues remain covered in bird shit. Baskets of hand-milled, multigrain bread crumbs will draw birds from miles away, and their avian intestines […]

Get lost.

She’s not always right, but she never admits it. She repeats herself, assured of her superiority and my blind submission. If I don’t follow, she stops talking to me. “You seem to know it all,” her silence communicates loud and clear. “I’ll just sit here and recalculate while you get lost.” She’s the self-important sounding […]